International Break: 2 Months into my year in Colombia

(Taken from my personal blog http://frankgetsabout.wordpress.com/)

It’s everyone’s least favourite time of the year, after three weeks of premier league joy and an eventful end to the transfer window, we have to endure two weeks of international friendlies and qualifiers until the next league fixtures.

So I thought, as it’s coming up to 2 months since I left sunny London, I should do a good old clichéd year abroad blog entry and mention of few of the ‘cultural differences’ that have stood out for me over the past few weeks. The goods, the non-goods, and the funnys.

I’ll start with the non-goods, just to get them out of the way.

1) Selfies: In England on the whole social media is a bit more tongue in cheek, but Colombians don’t hold back when it comes to posting a photo of themselves on the web. ‘New haircut #haircut #hair #nice.’ You shouldn’t criticise people for how they act on Facebook, but posting selfies everyday with inspirational quotes about stuff does warp your perception of someone whether you like it or not. In fairness I think this is a worldwide thing, I’ve seen quite a few people on their years abroad posting photos of famous landmarks with their little smiling heads in the foreground. We know you’re there! All your head is doing is obscuring the arc de triomphe!

2) Uni stuff: Yeah, bit of a specific one, but Rich and I did a presentation with two other Colombian students recently and the way it was marked was really odd. Everyone has to learn the presentation, but on the day only one person is chosen to present. The mark that they get, everyone gets. Booo.

Also, and this I find so hard to deal with even though it doesn’t apply to me, some classes start at 6am. 6AM. I know it’s hotter out here, but Jesús. Our friend lives a few hours away and has to get up at 3am to come to University.

3) Bagging: When you buy things in the supermarket they double-knot the plastic bags.

4) The N-word: Weirdly it’s commonly used as a term of affection for black people, and it’s only deemed racist if said aggressively. They call each other fatty and ugly as terms of affection as well, so I suppose there’s more of a culture of calling someone by what is deemed as their most prominent feature, but it is very uncomfortable.

5) The Bill: If you go out for a meal with a lady, you’re paying. No question about it.

6) Danger: Bit of a weird one this, because I am constantly being told not to trust anyone, never to hail a cab in the street for fear of kidnapping and not to go into the centre of town alone, but I have done all of these things and had no problems of any sort. The city’s track record isn’t (and definitely wasn’t) 100% perfect, but my bubble of bliss hasn’t been burst as of yet. I’m probably just extremely street-wise.

Anyway, more importantly, here are the many things I am very much liking about the Colombian lifestyle, the goods and the funnys.

1) The Weather: Being an Englander the novelty of the constant 25-30 degree heat hasn’t worn off, and it only every rains at night. Wearing shorts all the time is fun too, as it means I can show off my willowy legs.

2) Food: La Bandeja Paisa– the local staple- is so fried and fatty that it’s best not to think about the effects it has on your body, but once you’re over that, the plantain, rice, chorizo, crackling, frijoles (kidney beans), arepa (a maize disk roughly the size of a mini Wagon Wheel), soup, fried egg and fresh juice combination is a real treat. And there’s a restaurant near the UPB that serves all of the above for about £1.20.

Plantain is my second favourite food stuff, just behind the wonderful ‘Salsa de Piña’, pineapple sauce. Yes that’s a thing, and it’s a thing I have with all other things except breakfast. It’s sweet, yet versatile. It’s a jam, it’s a spread, it’s a condiment. What else can you say that about?

The tropical fruit and veg action is great too… Lets just say an avocado/a mango/a strawberry used to be a rare treat. Not any more. Plus there’s all the strange looking stuff I’d never tried before. The Zapote and the Granadilla are the big two for me.

3) Fútbol: Everyone loves it and everyone supports a team. It’s very common to go with your girlfriend to a game, and I’ve seen quite a few girls with football tattoos, which is virtually unheard of in England. And the Premier League is just as big as ‘La Liga Postobon’, which means that I can talk to people about Hatem Ben Arfa going to Hull and get an intelligent response.
Also, the commentators on ESPN Latin America are hilarious. During games they have the odd English phrase which they throw in from time to time. For example, if the ref gives a team the advantage they’ll say ‘play oooooon!’ or if the he gives a player a warning they’ll cry ‘be carrrrrrefull!’ with heavily rolled Rs. All names are exclaimed, and all Rs are rolled; ‘Jack Wilshiiiirrrrrrre!’, ‘Oxlade-Chamburrrrrrrlain!’, ‘Aarrrrrron Rrrrrraaamsey! Goallllllllllllll!’

4) Paisas: People from the region of Antioquia are famously welcoming and attractive, both of which are true *sex tourist alert*. Paisa slang is amazingly direct; ‘¿bien o que?’ (well or what?) ‘¿bien o no?’ (well or not?), ‘¿q’hubo, pues?’ (what happened, then?) and ‘¿entonces que, pues? (so what, then?) are all greetings which leave much less room for an unwanted, depressingly true response than our ‘how are you?’ Once you’ve met someone, they greet you friendlily for ever more, with either a handshake or a kiss on the cheek. I have to allow extra time to go somewhere if I’m going through the main bit of Uni because everyone is so up for a chat. It’s really great. At Southampton foreign exchange students aren’t really a novelty, if anything they’re seen as slightly silly for choosing to come to a place like Southampton for an extended period of time, but here there are only 35 exchange students and we’re treated ever so nicely.

5) Baile: Dancing is a big thing here. And it’s all hips, which is a bit of an issue for those from abroad, where you can normally get away with a little 2-step and some occasional arm movements. It is something to be embraced though, despite the initial embarrassment and the frequent feelings of gimpiness. It means that pretty much everyone dances amazingly here, and there is more of a culture of dancing in pairs which is exciting *sex tourist alert*. There are lots of steps and turns to be learned for all the different genres, but you’re kind of allowed to be rubbish as a gringo, and then if you dance well it looks extra good. I’m not at that stage though. Yet.

6) Transport: Buses are 50p, Medellín has the only metro system in Colombia, a ten minute cab journey costs about £3 and cabs don’t change their price at night.

7) Spanish: The accent here is very different to that of Castilian Spanish. Compared to over there where they lisp at any given opportunity, the Colombian accent is very neutral and much softer. In fact the Castilian accent is often mocked.

8) Tattoos: Everyone’s got one. Including me as of a few days ago actually, of an Águila, the national bird, which covers most of my back. It’s in a cool tribal style, you know? It looks amazing, selfies to be posted shortly.