I honestly didn’t expect to make this entry.
Before embarking on my year abroad, one of the most reoccurring points of advice was to be mindful of homesickness. To this end, I expected to yearn for home soon after arriving. Perhaps recurrent bouts of tears or a wish to return home. However, this didn’t happen. I arrived in New Zealand and found myself settling in even more seamlessly than I had when I first left home for university in Southampton. Thanks to modern-day technology, there isn’t a gaping disparity in the practical sense. In fact, aside from the steep time difference, the way I interacted with my family remained the same (text messages and facetime chats). This, paired with the fact that New Zealand is itself very similar to the UK (for example, in terms of language, general geography and climate, food etc.), meant that I was able to slip straight into a familiar routine. Afterall, I had been through this before.
Whilst I was at the university of Wellington in my first trimester, I waited for the homesickness to strike, but it didn’t come. I didn’t miss home. This is part of my motivation for writing, because I did start to worry whether there was something wrong with me. Of course, I didn’t want to miss home. I consider myself very lucky that I didn’t have to go through it – that I could enjoy this rare experience without that plaguing sadness. Yet, I worried about the fact I wasn’t homesick. Was this normal? Was I repressing? Was I feeling the wrong things? So, if anyone is reading this, I thought it would be helpful to say that it is totally ok not to miss home. As long as you are staying in contact with friends and family and are mindful of what you are feeling, it is alright to get swept away. You don’t need to feel guilty (this was a big one for me).
All that being said, I did actually end up feeling homesick and I wanted to document that too. It came about a little before the 6-month mark of my year abroad. I was in Rotorua whilst travelling during my southern hemisphere summer holidays, and was in the middle of a Workaway placement when I fell ill for the first time whilst being in New Zealand. Looking back, I am surprised that I hadn’t caught some cold or flu before that point (especially considering all my flatmates had at some point come down with something whilst I was living with them). Nevertheless, it came and I was very fortunate that my host was so understanding – not only because I was thus unable to complete the work I had been expected to do in exchange for bed and board, but she was also very understanding of the homesickness that meant I found socialising more difficult. More than ever, it was important to focus on the present. This didn’t mean berating myself for missing home when I was in such an amazing place, but acknowledging that these feelings were normal and letting friends and family know.
This wouldn’t be the first time that I was to experience homesickness. Towards the end of my summer holidays, for example, I began to grow impatient to return to Wellington and quickly realised I had developed a form of homesickness from the city I had spent so many months in. That, more than anything, just goes to highlight how transitory emotions are as well as demonstrate the importance of routine. Particularly by the end of the summer, after nearly four months of non-stop travel, the lack of consistency (whilst thrilling and freeing in so many ways) gave way to a longing for the security and comfort of the familiar. Whilst this might not work for everyone, developing and maintaining a routine whilst away from home is an excellent way to combat the lack of control you might be feeling.
My other main piece of advice for managing homesickness would be to document your feelings. These blogs certainly helped, but I do think I would have benefitted from a more personal private account of my feelings, plans, and aspirations. Not only would this have helped me practise mindfulness by making me more aware of what I was feeling, but it also would have helped reaffirm them, solidifying them in a way that would have better helped me deal with them in an appropriate manner.
With the end of my trip coming up in a few months, I have found that my time away has been both far too quick and appropriately long. I both look forward to coming home and low-key dread a return to normality – homesick for the UK and a simultaneous sense of already missing the excitement and wonder of New Zealand. And, even if this entry has been nothing more than a thought/emotion dump, I hope it can go a little ways for someone who might relate to something I’ve said. Compared to my other posts, this one has been a little more raw, but sometimes that is the best way to think things through and move forwards. It has been said many times over, but homesickness is normal and even if you don’t experience it in the way you might think, it in no way reflects a failing on your part. At the end of the day, my advice would be to enjoy the days as they come and take your mind off the bigger picture. For better or worse, your time away won’t last forever, so make the most of it.
